3 Reasons I Am Not A Feminist

I used to be the quintessential feminist, arguing with my brothers-in law about how women are treated like trash. barking to my mother about how oppressed women are.

But over the past year, I changed the media I consumed. And as a result, my perspective on modern day feminism changed as well.

Over the past few months, I have taken a long hard look at my values, and those of the modern day feminist movement. It has become glaringly obvious to me that they completely misalign and I am not the feminist I thought I was.

My mother is enjoying my recent mind set switch- it is yet another opportunity for her to say, "I told you so!".

(Note to self: Ima is always right)

The feminist movement has evolved from something powerful and unifying to a completely political movement.

Here are 3 reasons why I am not a feminist:

We are fighting the wrong battle

I know this may shock some people, but as a woman in the 21st century living in America, I do not feel oppressed.

In my personal experience as a female American citizen, I feel that I have equal rights as men. I have the right to vote, the right to choose a career I am passionate about and the right to an education. As a matter of fact, my right to a secular education in the Orthodox world is more secure than a man’s (more on that in a different post).

These rights are only mine because of the women who fought for them in a time when real gender inequality was prevalent.

I was very close with my grandmother. Hearing the story of her life and the obstacles she had to overcome completely shaped my mindset on feminism.

When I think of women who lived through a time when females were truly oppressed, she is the first one who comes to mind.

My grandmother grew up in Yemen, one of the poorest countries in Western Asia, in the mid 1900's. To say women were oppressed in Yemen is an understatement. Girls were not taught to read and write, their lives and safety were significantly more at risk than that of a man's, and they were overall treated in a derogatory, disrespectful way. Women persecution still exists in Yemen today.

I genuinely think that if my grandmother were alive today, she would be baffled at what the women's right movement has evolved into.

I think the modern day feminist battle needs to be less focused on women’s rights and more focused on women unity. There is a strong divide and intolerance amongst women who have differing political opinions and perspectives on policies. Which brings me to reason #2:

Modern Feminism does not actually care about women

In March 2020, Harper's Bazaar published a list of famous feminists throughout history.

Every single woman listed is a democrat, not a single conservative women to be found.

This is just one of thousands of times main stream publications left out conservative women when talking about female empowerment.

But isn't the feminist movement about equal rights for all women, not just democratic women?

Doesn't the claim "Women should have a seat at the table" apply equally to conservatives as it does to liberals?

The modern day feminist movement leaves out incredible conservative women who are single handedly changing the world.

Margaret Thatcher, Dr. Condoleezza Rice, Candace Owens. Media rarely if ever shed a positive light on these astounding women who are changing the course of history, simply because their political views differ from the main stream's views.

I think about the 2017 Elle article titled "10 Female Activists That Changed The World", and how Margaret Sanger is second on the list. Sanger is most famous for her advocacy for birth control and contraceptives. She was also an outspoken eugenicist who spoke explicitly on many occasions about her hatred of babies and large families.

Mainstream media lauds Sanger as a hero. And yet, when Amy Coney Barrett was appointed as an associate justice in the Supreme Court, the media wasted no time in denigrating her- mainly because of her pro-life view on abortion. Within minutes of her confirmation, my social media feed was filled with posts disparaging her character and warning the world of the danger that is sure to come.

The feminist movement seemed to be able to look past the fact that Margaret Sanger was a eugenicist and acknowledge her contributions.

Why can't they do the same for Amy Coney Barrett?

The answer lies in that feminism has evolved into a political movement that silences the voices of inspiring woman whose stories deserve to be told. And it does this simply because these women's perspectives differ from the political agenda being pushed.

Like cancel culture, the cry for “women’s right” is not consistent. Modern feminists do not actually care about all women succeeding, they just care about women who have the same political beliefs as them succeeding.Modern feminism is fraught with political agendas and virtue signaling and I am just not here for it.

Any movement that leaves out the important stories of breathtaking women like Dr. Condoleezza Rice, Margaret Thatcher and Candace Owens is not a movement I associate with.

I want a strong man

The rigid rules of being a modern day feminist do not fit with my values and vision for where I want my life to go.

I believe that G-d created man and woman with different natures and energies. Because of this, they need one another, each one providing in the area that the other lacks.

Among the traits I dream of when I envision my future husband, is a strong man who will take care of me and our family. When I share this with people, I am often met with ridicule and people's assumption that this means I am selfish. The feminist movement views my desire for this type of relationship as a sign of weakness, naivety on my end.

They think being a strong woman and wanting a strong man are a contradiction, that they are mutually exclusive truths.

They are wrong.

I am a strong, independent woman who has been taking care of herself for years.

I want to marry a strong man who will take care of me as well.

Both can coexist.

Here is to respecting all humans and amplifying the voice of every single (ha, play on words NOT intended!) woman, regardless of their political or religious beliefs.